I had logged off in Deklein a week before, right in the middle of a tasty ratting area. I figured that they would wait for me until I returned home from a trip away. Sure enough, they were all still there when I logged back in a week later.
Everybody talks about goon AFK Ishtars but I didn't actually come across any. They were all very much on the ball and in warp by the time I landed. A little down the road I found a Sabre waiting patiently on a gate. Innocent Scout escaped this time (she has had some bad experiences lately) and Zappity hopped through to take the fight.
The Sabre put a bubble up and tackled the Svipul. So I killed it and podded him, escaping moments before the inevitable backup landed.
The local ratters started linking gifs at me in local. I hate gifs in local and never open them. To punish them, I cloaked and went afk while doing the dishes. When I returned they seemed to be getting a little excitable so I left the system and headed toward a distant Thera entry on the other side of Fade.
I made a slight detour to investigate an SMA ratting pocket which was just a few jumps out of the way. I found an Ishtar at a plex, tackled him and went into orbit while juggling my modules.
Now, before you read this next bit I want you to understand what a terrible affliction jet lag is. It is obviously a VERY good excuse for poor flying.
The Ishtar's heavy drones were soon winging their way toward me after abandoning their efforts against the local rats. They started to hit me. It really hurt. I was shocked to see myself suddenly in armour and then my pod! I hardly had time to dent his shield.
I sat there, wondering why my faithful Svippy had so let me down. I then realised that I had forgotten to switch from Propulsion to Defence mode. Oh boy.
Please go back up and read the paragraph on jet lag again. That is my excuse and I am sticking to it.
I self-destructed my pod and was sitting in Amarr when my Ishtar opponent convoed me. He had been AFK in the shower and just returned to find a nice, expensive solo kill added to the tally.
This is so embarrassing. But I did promise to be honest!