Thursday, September 4, 2014

Doing justice to the Stabbed Vexor of Shame

I quite like the Vexor. I fly it like the Stratios without a cloak and a bit less DPS. And a lot less ISK. I was wandering about looking for someone to kill.

[Vexor, Vexor brawl v1]

Damage Control II
Drone Damage Amplifier II
Energized Adaptive Nano Membrane II
1600mm Reinforced Steel Plates II
Drone Damage Amplifier II

10MN Afterburner II
Stasis Webifier II
Warp Scrambler II
Stasis Webifier II

Heavy Electron Blaster II, Caldari Navy Antimatter Charge M
Heavy Electron Blaster II, Caldari Navy Antimatter Charge M
Heavy Electron Blaster II, Caldari Navy Antimatter Charge M
Heavy Electron Blaster II, Caldari Navy Antimatter Charge M

Medium Trimark Armor Pump I
Medium Trimark Armor Pump I
Medium Anti-Explosive Pump I

Gecko x1
Valkyrie II x2
Acolyte II x1

612 DPS, 36k EHP

Three Caracals were loitering in the system, behaving oddly. They were sitting at perches off gates then splitting up and warping off to celestials before regrouping at the next gate. I woke up Innocent Scout, probed them down, and warped Zappity (who was sitting at the gate nearby) onto them.

Admittedly, not a great survival strategy! But it didn't matter since they scarpered instead of fighting. I thought I had caught one - very close - but I was left sitting in his exhaust, disappointed.

Next up I found a Caracal and a Vexor sitting in a Medium plex. Suspiciously similar names directed me to the killboard where I saw things which still give me nightmares. Especially the stabs on both cruisers. But I know a cure for stabs!

I docked, switched a web for the spare anti-farmer scram that I carry, and warped in. I expected both ships to be at the edge of the plex sphere, ready to flee at a moment's notice. But they were sitting right on the beacon!

Now, whenever I fit a stab (e.g. a travel fit) the last thing I want is to get into combat. Of any sort. Stabs gimp your fit too badly to be useful so I strongly suspected that the killboards had led me astray and that I was confronted with two combat-ready cruisers.

Oh well. What can you do? Keep calm and carry on, that's what. So I slapped everything on the Vexor (who was closer) and started laying into him. He melted in a most satisfactory manner! Unfortunately I couldn't kill the Caracal because he ran away too fast.



And then he told me off. Apparently:
1. I must have a pathetic life and he feels sorry for me.
2. PvPers are just wasting their time because it is only internet pixels.
3. He can make that loss back in five minutes of plexing anyway. (I translated this to “I didn’t want that Vexor anyway. Sniff.”)
4. And anyway, why do I bother? It is just for a scrap of ego boost.

In return for this valuable feedback I told him that he was wasting a slot with the omni for medium drones. He didn't respond. To be honest I haven’t really mastered smack talk. I then asked him what his primary game activity was if not PvP. I didn't get a response to that either. Instead, I was told that I had padded my killboard enough and should go away. I think he was sulking.

Unfortunately, my next move did not really cover me with glory. No, really, you'll see. The next cruiser I found was an Ishtar. I figured that I would probably die since my guns were shooting into his resists (and because Ishtar) but decided to have a go anyway. I scanned him down and sent the Vexor into warp.

I noticed that he was next to a customs office (or something) as I landed but I was more interested in tackling my target than watching the scenery. I landed the scram and webs while my intended victim just sat there, entirely unperturbed. He locked me back and started killing me.

And so did the sentry guns. Yes, the "customs office" was actually a station. Oh my goodness, I was so embarrassed. Thankfully, a gaggle of his corpies instantly undocked and started laying into me too. So I can clearly chalk this one down to being mercilessly blobbed rather than noobishly aggressing on a station.


No comments:

Post a Comment